the beginning of the end?

in an age of facebook, instagram, twitter and a gazillion other social-sharing platforms, i fear the end is near for la merde en direct.

with it possible for me now to insta-beam my thoughts and feelings to all my facebook friends (and get instant feedback to boot), i no longer find the need to constantly jot down my thoughts and blog only about them later on. in any case, i also find that there is no longer any need for me to write lengthy blogposts when people hardly have the patience to read more than 160 characters nowadays.

this is, as they say, the beginning of the end.

with increasingly heavier work schedules and other means of accessing the internet, my time at the iMac has decreased drastically. hence the reduced updates and articles.

unless there are no major happenings or updates, i should not be posting here anymore.. so long blogspot, and thanks for all the fish! =)

compare and contrast

drink driving + killing a pedestrian + injuring 2 others = S$9,500 fine and banned from driving for three years.

wanting to own a car for transportation to work + fetch kids to school + ferry wife and aged parents around = S$92,100 fine.

uniquely singapore indeed.

2012

2012: the year of the renovation and the wedding.

needless to say, this was a very busy year for me. most of my weekends in the first three-quarters of the year were spent on conducting market surveys for household items, coordinating my renovation, and chasing bo-chup contractors. and then there was the wedding too. more countless evenings of prop making, dance rehearsals and table arranging. heh. then there was work too. 2012 had turned out to be quite a good year for me professionally. i have spent about a year+ at my new job and have grown into my appointment after some struggles initially. indeed, i have expanded my horizons and learnt a lot this year. went to the states too, for my first overseas conference. to cap it all off, i also managed to obtain my ippt gold again! unfortunately, things were pretty dismal again on the automotive front, as i got into yet another accident. phroar! why do singaporean drivers love to jam brake so much? for sports, i was glad to have won the uphill run in oct; this means that i am concurrently holding on to both uphill run and x-country titles. =)


2013 will be a transitional year, as i take some time off to consolidate the past 28 years of my life, and figure out what i would like the next 28 years to be like.

life

is what happens when you are busy planning away.

favourites

i have a favourite car, its the volvo v50.
i have a favourite type of beer too: IPA.
for brands, my favourites would be casual-preppy labels such as nike, a&f and lacoste.

given the number of products and brands in the world, it is inevitable that all of us will have our preferences and favourites. amongst people, it is the same thing. have you ever felt supremely comfortable with this particular group or person? have you ever heard of the term bff?

but that's only one side of the story. newton third law states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. so for every blue eyed boy, there is also the sway kia who kena anything and everything just because he is nobody's child.

sometimes i do feel like i'm the latter. but that drives me on to work harder and faster to prove myself. afterall, life wouldn't be that interesting if it were so smooth sailing right? =)

ndr2012

lots of quotable quotes in this year's rally:

1. "... we are a small island, but we cannot afford be small minded."
2. "... do not be a one-eyed dragon..."
3. "we may be very conscious of our shortcomings, but others have a high regard for what we have achieved." *excuses!!!*
4. "...individually, the memories are life's experiences, but collectively, they are about the soul of the nation..." *so why the rapid pace of industralisation?*
5. "...3 words: hope, heart, home."

in any case, i thought that it was quite a well-delivered speech; one that i enjoyed listening to at least, for the past few years. there was much more reference to what had been happening on the ground, instead of pursuing the government's own agenda, and as a result, it seemed like there was not one segment of society that was left out by PM lee in his speech.

now if you would excuse me, i need to go and stand up for singapore.. =D

in the zone

where i aim to be at every night. =)

london 2012

with the already bursting-at-the-seams competition calendar for almost every sport, are the olympics even relevant today?

powerfull

my commando friend has the 48 laws of power pinned on his cubicle in office.

of all the laws, he has #26 highlighted; ostensibly so as he is afterall, a commando first and a staff officer second. but i guess as good soldiers, we have to be mindful that we do not leave traces of our existence lest we attract attention. and if we do, our hands had better be clean by then. heh.

my personal favourite is:

22.  use the surrender tactic: transform weakness into power.

 sometimes you do not need to win by force - the heart is sometimes more powerful than the head!

for your convenience, the rest of the 48 laws are reproduced here for reference. i'm still in the midst of reading the book and trying to distil all the lessons that i can learn from it, and more importantly, learn how i can apply them to everyday life. *evil grin*

1. Never outshine the master.
2. Never put too much trust in friends; learn how to use enemies.
3. Conceal your intentions.
4. Always say less than necessary.
5. So much depends on reputation. Guard it with your life.
6. Court attention at all costs.
7. Get others to do the work for you, but always take the credit.
8. Make other people come to you; use bait if necessary.
9. Win through your actions, never through argument.
10. Infection: avoid the unhappy and unlucky.
11. Learn to keep people dependent on you.
12. Use selective honesty and generosity to disarm your victim.
13. When asking for help, appeal to people's self-interests, never to their mercy or gratitude.
14. Pose as a friend, work as a spy.
15. Crush your enemy totally.
16. Use absence to increase respect and honor.
17. Keep others in suspended terror: cultivate an air of unpredictability.
18. Do not build fortresses to protect yourself. Isolation is dangerous.
19. Know who you're dealing with; do not offend the wrong person.
20. Do not commit to anyone.
21. Play a sucker to catch a sucker: play dumber than your mark.
22. Use the surrender tactic: transform weakness into power.
23. Concentrate your forces.
24. Play the perfect courtier.
25. Re-create yourself.
26. Keep your hands clean.
27. Play on people's need to believe to create a cultlike following.
28. Enter action with boldness.
29. Plan all the way to the end.
30. Make your accomplishments seem effortless.
31. Control the options: get others to play with the cards you deal.
32. Play to people's fantasies.
33. Discover each man's thumbscrew.
34. Be royal in your fashion: act like a king to be treated like one.
35. Master the art of timing.
36. Disdain things you cannot have: Ignoring them is the best revenge.
37. Create compelling spectacles.
38. Think as you like but behave like others.
39. Stir up waters to catch fish.
40. Despise the free lunch.
41. Avoid stepping into a great man's shoes.
42. Strike the shepherd and the sheep will scatter.
43. Work on the hearts and minds of others.
44. Disarm and infuriate with the mirror effect.
45. Preach the need for change, but never reform too much at once.
46. Never appear perfect.
47. Do not go past the mark you aimed for; in victory, learn when to stop.
48. Assume formlessness.

epiphany II

its just a job.

invisible | skylar grey

i take these pills to make me thin
i dye my hair, and cut my skin
i tried everything, to make them see me
but all they see, is someone that's not me

even when i'm walking on a wire
even when i set myself on fire
why do i always feel invisible, invisible
everyday i try to look my best
even though inside i'm such a mess
why do i always feel invisible, invisible

here inside, my quiet heart
you cannot hear, my cries for help
i tried everything, to make them see me
but every one, see's what i can't be

sit! roll over! play dead! good dog!

mostdays i feel fine. somedays i feel as though i'm zipping down mont ventoux. on raredays i feel as though i've just won the french open. nowadays, i just feel like giving up.

its amazing how effective the pixelated camouflage is. put it on and tah-dah - one can be almost transparent, even in an urban terrain such as an office!

honestly, i'm quite tired and sickened by all these in/out-groups. i'd rather you be very honest with me and tell it to my face that you do not want to work with me, rather than give me those very condescending comments from time to time; i know very well my own capabilities, thank you very much.

and yes, "thanks" too, for saving the day once again, 'cos no one can do it quite like the way you can!

epiphany I

being singaporean means that we are all free to make the same choice.

PR, PR, where art thou?

excluding the 2 weeks break, renovation has been proceeding along pretty smoothly so far.

in terms of what has been the minor stumbles, i guess its been the case of the unknown unknowns. basically me and the girl are total noobs are home makeover: we do not even know what we do not know, and having an ID who is more than happy to accommodate my sometimes over-imposing requests, means that we frequently run into cost overruns, which obviously is a serious problem, and we find ourselves having to also frequently temper our wants and look more into our needs.

case in point, we were out shopping for sanitary wares last week and we had to go shopping twice, just because we didn't know that there were toiletbowl+sink packages in the first place! needless to say, we went for individual items that caught our eyes (and butt feel), and that translated to a rather hefty bill the first time. luckily, sense prevailed, and we went for the cheaper but packaged route after we were briefed on the economics of homeware shopping.

luckily too, that i am quite familiar with the project management process (occupational hazard), and i was able to manage my ID quite well thus far. by the way, if you want to know, projet pothaus is already CO-ed now. however, i have yet to get my LSMP nor PMP endorsed. luckily there's no need for a Logs Annex cos projet pothaus is less than S$15M in cost. =P

anyway, what i realised so far is that there are very little singaporeans in the entire ID/ renovation industry. let see my experience thus far:

ID: malaysian
ID husband: malaysian
construction workers: bangladeshi/ chinese
electrician: malaysian
electrical workers: chinese/ malay (not sure singaporean or malaysian malay)
laminate flooring salesperson: singaporean
cement screeder: chinese
window contractor: malaysian
sanitary wares salesperson: malaysian
blinds contractor: malaysian

not sure if this is representative of the entire industry, but what happened to our FT/FW to citizen/PR quotas? point to ponder: in our zeal to rapidly modernise and grow our labour force, have we applied the same stringent standards to the outsiders as we have to our own people?

[disclaimer: this is just a point for ponder; the people whom i've dealt with so far are as good as they can be, to the point that i am afraid that singaporeans can no longer compete with them. but is that reason enough for us to stop developing our indigenous workforce, or is that just taking the easy way out?]

the day that time stood still

recently, i've been passing by silat estate a lot more frequently as it is a shortcut between my parents' place and the pothaus.

sila--wat? you may ask: its a quiet and quaint 4-storey kampong just opposite the old KTM station in tanjong pagar. i suspect just like its taller brothers just opposite kampong bahru road, it used to house the KTM railway workers.

i used to have a primary school friend who stayed here, and on occasion we would come to his house to play sega games. he was quite a rich kid (although i never found out why he stayed in such a relatively run-down estate), and i remember sitting on a swing chair in the flat's rather large balcony. in primary 6, this was the same place where we would spend afternoons listening to boyband songs, and later on go on to practice and win at our primary school's talentime competition (if you must know, we sang i can love you like that by all-4-one). eventually we lost contact after we went on to separate secondary schools.

so i've been walking by this shortcut for the past few month since renovations for the pothaus started. and i observed more and more rubbish being collected at the rubbish dump (the red-brick building in the photo). huge pieces of furniture, tvs, discarded clothing, what-have-you, were slowly but surely piling up. then i realised that the occupants of silat estate were being relocated - probably to the newer hdb flats that had TOPed recently at kim tian.

last saturday, i passed by silat estate again after a 2 week absence, and i could tell that most people had already vacated their premises. judging by the mountain of sofas stacked up by the refuse collection centre, i guess that the cleaners had also given up on maintaining the estate - just waiting for the dump trucks and construction vehicles to flatten and clean out the entire place.

then i saw it - one singular household that still had its clothing hung out to dry; just like any other day, as though it had not one care in the world.

of course, i am sure that in the next few weeks when i pass by again, the occupants would have moved out already, but i just can't help but feel that one part of my childhood is already gone.

what for?

 

sadly, this seems to be the government-endorsed singaporean life cycle template, less the retire at 65 part of course. 

a house is not a home

facebook has made it so easy to share thoughts and articles (and reach out to a wider audience at the same time) that i fear that the end might be coming soon for blogs.

over the past few weeks, i had shared quite a number of articles on facebook. those were mostly social commentaries about singaporean life, and how difficult life is getting in singapore. i must admit that i am already much better off than most of my peers or singaporeans, but i always get a sense of foreboding doom whenever i read the newspapers. yes, it might not happen to me now, but looking at things, it will not be long before my cohort belongs to the "past" of singapore.

i think that the thing about singapore is that the government tries too hard to be open to the world. in our quest to attract foreign investment, we have almost forgotten who we are, where we came from, and where are we heading to. in our haste, what happened to this place that we call home? what happened to the swiss-class standard of living that we were supposed to attain? if the government can always beat their chests and loudly proclaim that the singaporean brand is so strong, why are they so afraid that foreign companies will close shop and shift elsewhere if we increase the wages of our low wage workers? i opine that if we are really 真材实料, then investments will continue to pour in because people recognise our value, not that we are cheaper, better and faster than our neighbours. 

---

talking about transformation, projet pothaus is coming along nicely. less than a week, and the apartment is a shell of its former self. walls have been hacked, built-in wardrobes removed and existing wires ripped out. now it is a skeleton, waiting to be zhng-ed into a proper liveable habitat. doubt much can be done in the next two weeks when i'm away, but well sometimes fast is slow and slow is fast! =)

someone like you

so i was going to forward some emails when i accidentally clicked on the "flagged" tab on my gmail browser and whoops, what do i see?

a whole lot of ancient emails dating all the way back to 2004, when i first registered my gmail account.

it was very interesting to read all the tiny condensed emails of the happenings that had occurred in my life. it was no doubt enlightening as well, as this time i had the benefit of hindsight to help me understand better the context and consequences of some of the emails that i had received or drafted at that time.

but were those emails written by my past self? really? no, i would never write those things down. in any case, i'm not who i used to be now; i've grown up and no longer resemble the jeremy kang who sent that email in 2006.

are we the sum of our parts? when do we become distinct from our past, or are we the product from our past experiences? to quote murakami, the past increases and the future recedes indeed.

fuzzy yellow balls

man, don't you just feel like hitting those balls? =)

penny wise pound foolish

just the other day, i was reading some articles and blogs about making every penny count in singapore (especially when the cost of living is increasing with every passing second) and i realised that i am quite the spendthrift.

where an article talked about putting aside a fixed sum of money for savings, i would think in terms of how much i would save if i purchased a promotional, but useless or another good-to-have item.

where a blogger would be bitching about how he has to spend an additional $5 in transport fares to return a defective good to the shop, i generally do not think twice about driving around the island just to look for nice chill out spots, or spending additional boliao money to zhng my car.

where another blogger would moan about the rising costs of food in hawker centres, i do not blink at consistently paying the government additional alcohol tax at various night spots.

you get the idea. i know that money is hard to come by but i realise that once we get used to a certain kind of lifestyle, it is difficult to retreat to a "lower", or simpler if you will, kind of lifestyle. and that is why the rat race is here to stay: we all constantly feel the need to upgrade our standard of living and will try our best to preserve it at all costs once we feel that it is under threat. quite the vicious cycle.

i actually envy those who are content with what they have, and are level-headed with their money. these are the people who will go far, make it big, and perhaps be able to retire at 50. me? hell no. not when i just purchased a pricey 5A resale flat and committed to a few other expensive purchases. will all these make me a happy person? maybe. will something lesser make me happy? equally dubious.

so why didn't i just settle for the cheaper option?