say you say me

Q: Why didn't you ever say that you loved me? Why didn't you ever share your feelings with me? Why didn't you ever show me that you cared? Why didn't you ever hold me in your arms and tell me that I was the one?

A: Because I didn't know how to.

Does it all matter now? =(

be careful what you wish for..

Isn't it amazing that when we have gotten what we had wished for, things are often not how we had wanted them to be?

<_<

6110 Navigator

My previous 6021 died yesterday. Probably realised that its partner 6288 died over at the States. =( So I had to get another phone. N95 is still definitely out of my reach, so I got its more mortal cousin, the new n6110 navigator. Cost me $500 with a 2-year plan.

Just got the phone and am still experimenting with it so I can't say much. But judging by first impressions I am pretty happy with the phone. Hopefully with its navigation function, it can give me some direction to my pretty farked-up life now.

try your best, but remember that there's a limit

17-year-old triathlete collapsed after crossing finish line

A PROMISING 17-year-old triathlete collapsed on Sunday after he crossed the finish line in a South-east Asia Games selection trial.
He died less than two hours later.

Thaddeus Cheong, a Raffles Junior College first-year student, had just swam 1.5km, cycled 40km and ran 10km at Changi.

The national triathlete had been trying for a place in the team for December's SEA Games in Korat, Thailand.

Yesterday's trial was the first of two races to decide the four slots - two men and two women.

The next one will be the Osim Singapore International Triathlon at East Coast Park on July 29.

Eight men and three women started the race at about 6.45am at Tanah Merah Country Club's swimming pool.

Triathlon Association of Singapore senior executive and assistant national coach, Mr Jerry Seah, said Thaddeus looked 'very confident', 'very happy and ready to go', before the flag-off.

walk all your troubles away

If only I could do that, then today's 12km MacRitchie walk/hike would have taken all my troubles away. =(

Went for an early morning run at ECP with the usual suspects. Been ages since I ran there (Dec 2006).. So the change in environment/scenery was good. Did a short 10km recovery run then adjourned for breakfast at Mac's with Mel who went biking at Coastal.

After breakfast we decided that the weather was too good to stay indoors so we decided to head to MacRitchie for the HSBC TreeTop Walk.

Pace, just like the morning's run, was leisurely. Just felt a little silly hiking in my Crocs sandals. Although I could still walk the whole distance, there were some parts of the route where I stepped on some sharp or hard objects. After about 6km, we reached the TreeTop Walk. View from up was ok. I was glad that there were no large groups today so I was able to enjoy the serenity of the environs up there. =)

After the TreeTop Walk we headed to Jelutong Tower. Its a 7-storey tower which, like the TreeTop Walk, overlooks the forest canopy as well. Remembered this tower as I think we came here once during OCS. Ex. Wildcat, methinks. Clambered all the way up, and there we had a mini-picnic with the food items we bought earlier at ECP 7-Eleven. Food was nothing much, but the chat was good. Been a long time since I felt such serenity. These few weeks I have been plagued with troubles and problems of various kinds.. So it was good that I felt quite at peace with the world up there. (wished that you were here too.. i think that you would have liked it up here as well)

Reached back at the carpark at about 1600, almost 5 hours since we set off. Although tired, I felt lighter. Physically fatigued but mentally energized.

Maybe the forest hike had taken off some of my emotional baggage. Or maybe I just liked being out in the sun. But whatever it was, I'm glad that I went for the walk. From now on its going to be a long uncertain journey that I've got to embark alone; and just like my hike today, I hope to reach my destination, wherever it is, stronger and re-energized. So wish me the best of luck. =)

Ode to you

7 years ago, you stepped into my life
and my heart.
For the first time I experienced
innocence, discovery, happiness and love.

Oh what a joy to experience
your smiles, your actions and your caresses.
What a delight to share
your hopes, your dreams and your fears.

But it was not all fun and no pain.
Sometimes, things were not easy.
The future was cloudy,
and I was unsure where we were heading.

You never went away, you never gave up.
You told me "No pain no gain",
and so you persevered,
trying to make it all work out.

However the more you tried,
the more I took flight.
We were like the like poles of a magnet,
getting closer but never being able to really connect.

The years went by,
and even though we met up now and then,
the misunderstandings continued to tear us apart.
Till one day, you told me "It was not meant to be"

I never thought that I would feel this way.
Even you too!
But yes I do,
and its cutting me up like what it used to do to you.

Memories of the past keep flooding my mind,
both happy and sad.
What did I do wrong and what I should have done.
Could they have been prevented? Or were they fated all along?

I guess,
its me.
He could do in one day
what I could not achieve in all these 7 years.

I'm happy for you.
I'm sure that he really loves you.
But it breaks my heart to know that I can't hold you,
like I used to do.

So I guess
as the curtains close in the final act,
what I want to tell you in this ode to you,
is just a simple "I still love you".

Tonight I Wanna Cry

- by Keith Urban

Alone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

Would it help if I turned a sad song on
'All By Myself' would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry

brownie of broken dreams

Due to the excess time I have now that I do not have to shop for exchange, book air tickets, etc., I decided to bake a brownie today.

Not too bad, I made it the way I like it.. Moist, dense, and best with a scoop of ice cream!

Hopefully I can get a response soon. This has been the longest weekend of my life! =S

top view

closer view.. you can see the sugar crust hardening! =)

limbo rock

waiting.. waiting.. and more waiting..

the silence really kills.. =\

not good enough

Latest turn of events:

"Ma réponse était justement pour vous dire que vous ne pourriez pas suivre un semestre de cours dans notre Ecole du fait de votre niveau jugé trop faible."

WTF..

up up and away...

1. GST rates are going to be increased to 7% w.e.f 1 July. read here

2. NETS rates are going to be increased by 400%. read here

3. SCV rates also going up across the board. read here

4. Ministeral salaries already up.. read here

Reading the papers, it seems to me that there is an announcement of price increases just about every other day. What next? ERP? Public transport? Rental fees? Seems like everything is really on the rise now! Even competition to get into NUS has also increased. =(

I know that everything is going well now so there is a "bull" mentality to society in general. But for some things like education and public transport hikes, should the government step in?

I'm not saying that we should continue to be spoon-fed, but there are some reasons why we continue pay our taxes and do national service. Reasons like education for our future generations.

Recently it has come to light how some Singaporeans are denied an education in our local universities and have no choice but to head overseas. Many of them do so, as a last resort, and regrettably, as many of those who go do not return. Mind you, these students are not performing below-par: Some have more than 2 'A's in the A-Levels. Unfortunately, due to the government's emphasis on attracting the brightest and the best from foreign lands, many of our own kind have to be sacrificed.

This sounds like a logical premise: Meritocracy, isn't it? However, I do feel that a country should fulfill its promises to its own citizens. From day 1 of primary school, the emphasis of our government has been on academic success. So we, the citizens heed the government's call. However, some do fall through the gaps. Some falter along the way, and not all make it to the Promised Land. However, does that mean we then cast the stragglers them away? And then complain that citizens have become "quitters", and that Singapore is facing a brain drain.

Look for local talent, before casting our nets out to look for foreign talent.

Now you may argue: Perhaps these students, knowing the standards of the courses that they wanted to get into, could have made better choices, especially since they already know their results beforehand. But no. Apparently this year admissions aggregates have jumped wildly. Is it due to better students this year? Is it due to the dragon-year cohort?

No.

It simply points to a more glaring problem: University places are in short supply, and the casting of our net in search of foreign talent has a part to play in this shortage. Why are we taking in an ever-increasing number of foreign students at the expense of our own? Can we afford to do so?

Mind you, I have nothing against foreign students. I value diversity and in fact some of my best friends are foreigners. But the question still stands: Can we afford to do so?

Can we continue to do this, and yet still touch our hearts and say that we have tried our best to give every student, every Singaporean adequate educational opportunities, and that we have fulfilled our promises to them?

I'm very afraid, that unless the government or the universities themselves do something, the answer will be just be one word:

No.

au revoir sylvie

Le vendredi dernier, quelques étudiants et moi sont allés à chez Sylvie pour une petite soirée. Le raison de la soirée? Le départ imminent de Sylvie. =(

Qui est Sylvie? Elle est une professeuse de français dans l'université. Elle n'est jamais ma prof, mais à cause d'elle est la responsable de la formation des équipes, tous la connais. En plus, elle m'a enseigné pour 3 semaines pendant français 1 parce que Larzhal a été occupé.

De tout façon, nous avons passé un bonne soirée. Sylvie, tu nous manqueras!!!

les étudiants avec les deux belles profs!

paint a home 2007

La semaine dernière, quelques uns de nous sont allées au Paint a Home 2007, le travail charité organisé par NUS Community Service Club. Shaowei, qui est le garçon le plus charitable de nous, nous a dit de cette événement et bien sûr je l'ai accepté d'aller.

Le bénéficiaire cette année est Bishan Home for the Intellectually Disabled.

Nous avons passé un bonne après-midi de la peinture. Nous ne sommes pas Michelangelo ou Da Vinci mais Je pense que notre peinture a été un grand succès! Okok.. sauf Mark lah.. Haha! =D

Quelques photos:

l'équipe des peintures

shaowei, jovine, mark, et moi. shaowei, arrête de voir à jovine! Fait attention à la peinture!

michelle, shaowei et chenyang

la cygne de mark. ma spinale a été évidement choqué

mon buaya, moi, et eugene

top ten reasons to date an engineer.. =)

10. The world does revolve around us… we chose the coordinate system.
9. No “couple” enjoys a better “moment”.
8. We know how to handle stress and strain in a relationship.
7. We have significant figures.
6. We have taken a course on the motion of rigid bodies.
5. Projectile motion… need we say more?
4. Engineers do it according to specification.
3. According to Newton, if two bodies interact, their forces are equal and opposite.
2. We know it’s not the length of the vector that counts, but how you apply the force.
1. We know the Right Hand Rule.

And remember that :

Engineers do it more with less resistance.
To avoid friction we apply proper lubrication.

Need I say more?

whatever day

Today, Anyone, Someone, No One and Everyone went to Carl's Jr. for dinner.. because Everyone wanted to eat there. So Someone had to rush down all the way from Marine Parade for Anyone to fulfill her friendship day wish. =) No One has to say that it was a great dinner and that he was glad that he went along. No One also promises to buy Anyone, Someone and Everyone margaritas after the exams!!! =D

Anyway, NUS students apparently has 10% discount at Carl's Jr.! So use your privileges my fellow NUSians! Haha..

meatball bonanza

Cooked meatball pasta for lunch after Joyriders' ride on Saturday. Meatballs were courtesy of Blue Spoon. Sauce was homemade. Results:

can you count how many meatballs are there?

le déjeuner avec un tasse du vin rouge

Went to the PC show at Suntec with Choo and friend in the evening. As expected it was super packed but in the end I managed to get my wireless optical mouse and a 120GB portable hard disk. Nice... Damn happy!

Anyway wanted to get a camera too after seriously thinking about the pros and cons of getting a n95 or a phone+cam combo. However, the queues were too long and I didn't feel like spending so much money so soon.. So guess I'll get my camera another time at Sim Lim! At the same time, was doing some research and came across this new phone from Nokia. Hmm.. Its a slider, has GPS capabilities, and a 2MP cam. Looks like it may just be what I will get! =) But have to depend on the price too.. Hmm.. We'll see.

Since this post is rather techy.. lemme end this off with some of the upcoming Transformers toys which we'll be able to lay our hands on.. Autobots! Roll out!

wonder how many megapixels is that worth..

looks like a ol' school nintendo clone

presenting the N93T.. T for transformable

Blind

- by Lifehouse

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as you turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury even if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality crashes to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

After all this time
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
And I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go